Buttons and Bows’ London Adventures
November 30, 2007
Here I am again, back in London after a year and a half hiatus. It’s not that I’ve tired of it (Samuel Johnson famously wrote that when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life), I’ve simply been too bogged down with work to get away. But life is about to get crazy busy and I just wanted to squeeze in one more trip while I still have the time. And money.
This time, I’m visiting with my friend Lori, a seasoned traveler who hasn’t been here before. She happens to be one of my smartest friends, so our itinerary has a cerebral bent. I’ve been here enough times that when the locals ask me for directions, I can actually guide them, so there are very few attractions I haven’t seen, or need to see. I’ve left most of the decisions to Lori. I’ll take her to my must-sees (St. Paul, Westminster Abbey, the Tate Modern, Big Ben, Tower of London, Geale’s for fish and chips, and the Churchill Arms pub in Kensington), but the rest is her call. I’m just here to soak in the atmosphere. And dewy weather.
“Outlook: Dry and warm, but cooler with some rain.” There you have in a single pithy sentence the English weather captured to perfection: dry but rainy with some warm/cool spells. – Bill Bryson, Notes from a Small Island
I arrived on Saturday the 24th to 0 degree weather (Celsius that is.) Brrrr. It warmed up to a balmy 13 degrees as of Wednesday (that’s about 58 degrees Fahrenheit) but the sporadic rain only showed up for a few minutes on a couple of days. Despite mostly cloudy days (the sun only showed up today, a bit late for the party methinks), I haven’t had to complain much. I’ve said it before, even the dismal weather in London is charming. (You can’t talk about London without talking about the weather; you just can’t.) Lori arrived about an hour after I did and we took the train into London together. We are staying at a lovely hotel in the Hampstead area of London. This is Jamie Oliver’s neighbourhood, and one that is actually quite posh (or “upmarket” as one of our tour guides called it.)
Though tired and jet lagged, we rallied to see a bit of London after dumping off our bags at the hotel. Lori wanted a literary twist on this tour, so our first stop was Hampstead Heath, an area rife with literary connections to writers such as DH Lawrence and John Keats.
We stumbled upon the shop-n-pubfested Hampstead Village where a small crowd was gathering at a street corner. It was the village’s tree-lighting ceremony. The tree, it turned out, was actually shorter than me. (There’s one inside the pub across the street that’s twice as big.) But it was a pleasant “ceremony” and we took in a drink at the Flask, one of the oldest pubs in the area, before venturing into London proper to walk around the Tower Bridge, Tower of London and Big Ben. We stopped for an amusing bout of people-watching at one of the temporary ice rinks set up around town for the holidays.
We packed a lot into our Sunday itinerary as we attacked Camden Market for a bit of shopping then checking out Kings Cross Station and Platform 9-3/4 (Harry Potter reference) before strolling through the Russell Square area (where I swallowed a big gulp of nostalgia as I took in the hotel Stacey and I stayed in 11 years ago on the Contiki tour), checking out the houses of Dickens, T.S. Eliot and the Bloomsbury group; a quick pop into the British Museum, and a long stroll around the Inns of Court area.
Lori, being a recovering lawyer and all, had this on her list. Stumbling upon a beautiful private compound with an old church and several gothic looking buildings, I wondered if the area was the Inns of Court, and asked the security guard if it was indeed.
Turned out he was, in many ways, the right and wrong person to ask. I was really looking for a simple ‘yes/no’ answer, and instead got a full explanantion of the compound, from the empty church-looking hall rarely used for anything to the area on the corner where Dickens based his ‘Pickwick Papers’ while working as a law clerk. He then went on a lengthy diatribe about his (prophetic) views on world economy (apparently, he predicted the collapse of the American Dollar), politics, and astronomy (ha!) and handed us a sample of his propaganda.
His parting words were “You may wonder what I’m doing as a security guard. That’s because I’ve upset far too many people.” Um, okay.
One of the best things about London, really, is that you never know what you’re going to get when you stop and ask for directions. And may I say, you will never find a more helpful city.
Harrods at night
We walked around “Lawyertown,” stopping at the Royal Courts of Justice as well as Temple Church (of Knights Templar fame and featured in ‘The Da Vinci Code’.) After an exhaustive walk, we returned to Hampstead and dined at a local sushi restaurant. Lori, with an injured back, was being quite the trooper. On print, these places may not add up much, but we are sightseeing about 9 to 10 hours a day, and walking for more than half that time. Do the math. By noon on Monday, my own back was starting to ache and my injury-ridden feet were feeling close to buckling. Luckily, my body held up even as the diet didn’t.
On Monday, we took a tour to Windsor, Stonehenge and Bath. I found nothing new here, except that I had been looking forward to returning to Bath since my first visit because it really is a lovely town. It boasts gorgeous Georgian architecture and is literarily connected to Thomas Hardy and Jane Austen, who either lived or set their works here. The Roman Baths featured the addition of Bill Bryson to their audio guides, a serendipitous treat for me! (Speaking of pleasant surprises, Lori found some herbal treatments for her back from a storefront called “Dr. China.”) After the tour, we stopped off at Leicester Square to secure show tickets for the following evening and enjoyed some Greek food at a place around the corner from our hotel.
Tuesday was another packed day in which we took in Paddington Station in search of Paddington Bear and exploring the glorious Westminster Abbey. We lunched at a tony place in Notting Hill called Geale’s, known for its fish and chips. The art deco place has tarted up a lot since my last visit, and Lori overheard folks at the next table saying that it was the most expensive fish ‘n chips place in London. (It didn’t used to be.)
After walking through the neighborhood and showing Lori Portobello Road, we set off for Harrod’s where we had afternoon tea (delightfully served to us by a Czechoslovakian cutie named Dominik. Yes, Czechoslovakian. He was quite proud of BOTH heritages.)
After shopping, we returned to the hotel to get changed for an “upmarket” night out. First, we saw the very classy, very funny musical “Spamalot,” and then took in a nightcap (or two, or four…) at the ritzy Blue Bar in the Berkeley Hotel. Hands down, the most expensive day I ever spent in London. I’d almost say it might be my most expensive day EVER, except last year on Black Friday, I started shopping at 6 a.m. and bought a laptop and iPod before lunch.
Anyway, just to give you an idea of how diabolical the exchange rate is… you know I had to bring it up, right? London is a bit expensive if you want good food and enjoy the good life to begin with, true, but our fish n’ chips meal totaled about $80 I kid you not (one piece of fried fish each and a small bowl of fries which we shared). Our Blue Bar tab was about $100. For. THREE. Drinks.
I suppose if you don’t go on a spendy splurge now and then, what the heck is the point of working and toiling if you end up getting run over by a taxi or a cellphone-toting floosie in a Land Rover tomorrow, eh?
We took a cab ride back to the hotel after closing the bar down, and the cabbie took to calling me Buttons. “Where you off to, Bu’ons?” (Lori adopted the name Bows, when Dave our cabbie asked us what our names were.) After we arrived at the hotel, Dave allowed us to pose for photos in the driver’s seat.
On Wednesday, we visited the Tate Modern and St. Paul’s in the morning, doing the requisite climb to the top of the cathedral’s massive dome. Dave (the cabbie) had suggested a Turkish restaurant “just around the co’ner” for a good, cheap meal. We found it – after about an hour’s walk and turns around several corners that was completely worth it. Since we were in the area, we strolled through Old Spitalfields and Petticoat Lane markets en route to the DLR station to go to Greenwich, where we stood on the Prime Meridian and stopped for a few photo-ops and breathtaking views. (Quite possibly the highlight of the tour.)
Straddling the Prime Meridian, Royal Observatory Greenwich
We returned to our hotel and had Greek leftovers, held for us nicely by the hotel staff (they even heated it up.) After a quick nap, we forayed into the King William IV pub in the village where they hold Quiz Night every Wednesday. Quite a difference from my usual Quiz Night ritual in America; for starters, the host was a tranny named Sheila who looked a cross between Liza Minelli and a “naughty schoolteacher.” He/she was FABULOUS!
Turns out this was the local gay club, and Miss Sheila is the entertainer in residence, doing a weekly cabaret act on Saturdays. (I’ll be gone by then, and I really, really, really wished I didn’t have to be.) We arrived late so we didn’t participate, but we would have done poorly as many questions were British pop culture-centric; however, there were loads of science and literature questions, so we might have done alright. Pubs in England are extraordinarily cool, they allow dogs inside too. There was even a bulldog sitting with the winning team.
Thursday, being our last day, was a low-key day trip out to Stratford and Oxford, again, places I’ve been to before. However, a new experience for me was touring Christ Church College, where many scenes in Harry Potter were filmed. Our tour guide was a friendly gent named Adrian who guided us to a neighbourhood Hampstead pub that might have a dartboard (Lori was determined to find a bar, oh sorry, ahem, PUB, where we can play darts.)
After a quick pit stop at the hotel, we set off for this pub on a dark, winding, uphill road, away from the (safe) lights of Hampstead Village. Despite the sketchy hike, we found this pub’s food to be pleasant, though no dartboard was to be found. I ordered a pint of my favorite Hoegaarten (though thought twice about drinking the whole thing as I’ve got my Weight Watchers weigh-in on Sunday, and I just know this would add about five pounds to my tally.) The giant prawns were tasty, but their “sexy sausage roll” just didn’t match up to the one at the Cock N Bull in Santa Monica.
Shakespeare’s home, Stratford-Upon-Avon
The London pub experience is tons better now that smoking has been banned from inside most places. It’s a bit of a dose of home, with the exception that dogs (the four-legged kind) are allowed inside. You know there are about a million and one things I love about England, and the fact that they are enormous dog-lovers ranks high on the list.
Dining hall at Christ Church College, a.k.a. Hogwarts’ Great Hall
With our tummies full and our pockets empty (the pounds I spent must have translated into pounds on my tushie), we set off for a contented walk downhill back to the hotel.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I like it here. I like it more than I can tell you. – Bill Bryson
I could keep coming here; London to me will never be anything less than extraordinary. The dollar’s value is positively ghastly, and perhaps the only surprise is how fast the money goes with the exchange rate the way it is. The trip was at times odd, entertaining, exhausting and exhilirating. In many ways, it feels just like home.
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