The Culinary Tales Week 15: Personality Goes a Long Way
The theme of Week 15 was pâte à choux, a light pastry dough consisting of butter, water, flour and eggs and is used to produce eclairs, cream puffs and profiteroles.
Pâte à choux is simple to make but the hard part is the piping. I had yet to master the art of the steady hand. It wasn’t so much a big deal to pipe eclairs or cream puffs, but we made these lovely “swans” – a variation of the cream puff that’s shaped like a swan – and I had to re-do my piping at least twice to get the shape of the body and neck right.
But before we could move on to pâte à choux, we finished laminated dough production. During the early part of the week, we applied the technique to make strawberry mille feuille (napoleon), palmiers (little “biscuits” shaped like Princess Leia buns and are sometimes called “elephant ears”), and vol-au-vents (little pastry cups that you fill with goodies.)
At the end of the week, we had a knife cut practical – something I actually miss.
We ended the week with a preview of the following week (PIE!!!) by starting on our pie dough. Then we topped the week off with a Battle of the Croquembouche.
Croquembouche, known as traditional French wedding “cake” isn’t really a cake but a tower of profiteroles stacked into something resembling a tabletop Christmas tree. It is held together by caramel and set on a nougatine base. We did this in teams of two, and Chef Bad Cop was supposed to come in to judge the contest. (He was a no-show, was probably time for his once-a-term “tantrum” so Chef Chill came instead. Chef Satan used to co-instruct with CBC and told us how this routine went on before he switched to baking. I always knew it was an act.)
At stake for the first through third-place winners were some extra credit points. My partner (Sweet Momma) and I had a plan for a cool design, but we messed up the nougatine on the first pass, so we ran short on time. The boys (Class Buddy and Advertising Buddy) were bitter that the girls stuck together, and rubbed their second place award in our faces for the rest of the night. (Boys.)
Putting a croquembouche together should have been more fun but it wasn’t. Sugar, when caramelized, gets VERY hot. We were warned to put on gloves as a precaution. And that we were supposed to have an ice bath at the ready, just in case. A tiny droplet of sugar fell on the doilie and though I waited a minute before trying to wipe it off, I still felt a searing hot flash through the gloves as I touched it with my finger. Just a warning for any of you who ever have a hankering to make some kind of caramel-y goodies at home.
If you ever get it on your skin, soak your hand immediately in an ice bath. Do NOT try to wipe off the goo – you’ll take your epidermis and parts of your dermis with you.
Before we were dismissed, we received our mid-term grades. Already??? The time flew by so fast and I was actually surprised to have an A-. Not as shocking as finding out that my QUIZ grade actually pulled me down.
In a surprise “twist”, rather than give us a lecture, Chef Satan uncharacteristically bestowed praise on our class in a way I’m sure he hasn’t done in a while. (He actually tried to quit after the class before ours, but the school refused his resignation.)
Not that it matters to me because Chef Giggles is my grader, but for a guy notorious for giving nothing higher than an A-, he said he would work on upping the grades a little, which will help those who are on the bubble, because we were, as a group. according to him, pretty darn awesome. Because on the whole, we were “smart” and “fast” and we “had personality.”
Just as Samuel Jackson so eloquently articulated in “Pulp Fiction” when talking about pigs being filthy animals because they roll in their feces, then being asked if dogs are filthy since they actually eat their feces, he said he wouldn’t go as far to call a dog “filthy” because it’s got personality. And personality goes a long way.
Amen, reverend.
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