Maui 2002

Today: the Road to Hana, a day-long journey to the other side of the island on a two-lane highway dotted with interesting stops along the way. You know, your basic breathtaking waterfalls, rainforests, that kind of thing.

It rained for most of this trip, which made the already dangerous drive even more treacherous.

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We stopped several times to take pictures (okay, maybe a couple of stops were simply restroom breaks.) We lunched in Hana before our journey ended at the Seven Sacred Pools (there are actually more than seven and they’re really not “sacred”). It was incredibly beautiful over there and I couldn’t keep my eyes off the HUGE terrifying waves. I would have wanted to swim in the pools, but we were soaking wet from the rain & really tired from the driving. I will have to go back someday.

On the return trip, the light sprinkle had transformed into a torrential rain. A frightened Ilysha wanted to give up on the drive and spend the night in Hana. But ah, no worries! I’m a road warrior! And being the arrogant, learned-to-drive-on-snow chance-taker that I am, took over the wheel and assured my traveling companions that this was a piece of spam musubi. (At some point, the road flooded to where the water could almost reach the car windows!)

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We finally made it back to the “civilized” part of Maui, safe and sound, and decided after a quick debate, to have dinner at Mama’s Fish House in Paia. The plain road-side sign belied the restaurant’s (extremely) pricey menu and breathtaking (apologies for using this word one-time too many) ocean view. This was the BEST part of my trip, for the food was nothing short of divine.

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We started with some complimentary lobster chowder and shared an appetizer course of seared ahi sashimi with pineapple tamarind sauce and hot mustard. For the entrees, Lysh and Ellen split the house specialty platter of ono (a mackerel-type fish) and mahimahi served with fruit in the “style of Old Hawaii.” All fish is caught fresh that day, by the way. I opted for the seafood curry of ono, opakapaka (pink snapper) and opah (moonfish); this dish now ranks on my top three list of all time! I don’t think I’ve ever had anything this heavenly (sex, included.)

Afterwards, we pondered getting dessert over tasty Kona coffee. Eventually, our beautiful waitress (hell, the only thing cuter than the wait staff here was the menu — which lists who caught the day’s catch where and on what vessel) convinced us to try the passionfruit creme brulée.

AMAZING.

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This dining experience was, I have to admit, the best I’ve ever had. For a true dining delight, go to Mama’s Fish House, even if you must scoff at the Disney-themed decor (think Tiki Room.)

After dinner, Ilysha and I went on a little excursion to the hotel bar. We were enjoying a low-key night, when the bartender announced last call — AT 11:30! What the f***? The bartender explained to us that the bar closed early so as not to disturb guests sleeping on the level below. However, a couple of people who strolled in late couldn’t understand the concept and tried to get the bartender to keep the place open.

The two were joined by their friends and their group slowly grew. By now, the very large group with some sketchy-looking people were trying to get the bartender to sell them drinks. (The bartender flatly refused.) A woman in the group caught my attention, and thought to myself how much she looked like Natalie Merchant. I turned to tell Ilysha so, and did a doubletake as soon as I realized that it really was NATALIE MERCHANT! The group was her crew and they had just wrapped a concert that night.

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Anyway, to make a short story short, the bastard of a bartender told them to go to hell (actually, to a bar across the way.) What a night cap!

‘Twas a lovely time in Maui, and I swore to come back — if only for the food.

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